Yeah, I thought that too. From my years on the internet whether it be "ed twitter/instagram", or specific sites and forums, I thought that since I claimed to be pro recovery there's no way I could be doing anything harmful to my self or others. I'm simply venting and looking for community.
The rise of pro ana started when internet sites would post specific tips, or thinspo and was seen as urging people to develop eating disorders- mainly anorexia (with bulimia as well) as a lifestyle and tell them it's not an illness. A lot of those websites were quickly shut down, but the trend didn't die. All over social media, people changed the #thinspo to #thinspoo or #ana to #anna. But when that proved to not resolve the issue, trigger warnings were used and it seems there is nothing to do about the issue.
Nowadays finding true pro-ana material with slandering paragraphs and promotion of anorexia seems to be scarce, however material just as triggering is more accessible than ever.
An almost cult like group of people gather on social media to post body checks, thinspo, talk about their illness, and complain about being forced to eat. But, because they put "pro recovery, just not in it" in their bios, they are seen as okay to follow.
Now, before I go into my full blown "dear 'not pro ana' rant", I want to make a disclaimer. I was very much one of these pro ana social media users. It was risky, addicting, and triggering in all the ways eating disorders love. I used those words to make it seem as though I was trying to recover and just relapsing. I would track my calories and post results innocently thinking that it was too high to trigger anyone. I'd talk about goal weights, and how much I hate myself, and why I need to lose weight, thinking in some twisted way it would help others be scared into recovery. I claimed to be pro recovery, but my actions said pro ana.
So here we go.
Dear "Not Pro Ana" Users,
I have compassion for you. You're hurting. You're suffering. You feel like no matter what you're doomed to live in an "unsuccessful" eating disorder. I believe you are worthy of help and happiness.
But, what you do is NOT okay.
The things you post, your usernames, your diets, your bonespo, everything on your account is beyond detrimental to yourself and others. The saddest part is- you know it.
If it wasn't triggering, you wouldn't post it because you use this account to be triggered.
If you really didn't want other people to see it you wouldn't post it.
You may be one of those people who truly think that no one is impacted by your actions, in that case, I'm glad you're reading this.
Private account or not, people can gain access to it so easily. When you say you ate X calories you think you're venting. But that becomes someone else's new goal or competition. When you accompany that by saying you're fat or out of control, that will lead others to think that if they eat that, they're fat or out of control.
When you see someone post that they're fasting and your comment is "be safe dearie xo", that's (maybe unintentionally) saying "I know that's unhealthy but I condone it and don't want to get in trouble"
You post bonespo and thinspo thinking it'll motivate you and only you. But when you know there's a so called community of people with the same thoughts you have, you think they'll see it any differently? They won't.
Your accounts are one of the pieces that send people including myself back into the normalization and rationalization of their own relapse. It sparks competition. For me personally I see it and think "well if they can lose weight and starve themselves and still be pro recovery so can I".
If you are openly not recovering and continuing to talk about your "diet uwu" and posting thinspo even if it is "just for you", you are acknowledging that you're engaging in behaviors others with your illness will see.
This isn't a bash on you, because you are a perfectly made person and deserving of recovery, but this is a callout on your lack of responsibility for treating this illness seriously and glamorizing it. You may think you don't do this, but do you ever see cancer accounts? Diabetes accounts? Osteoporosis accounts? No, maybe you see online communities or even recovery accounts dedicated to support and moving forward, but that's exactly the point. You don't see someone with stage 3 breast cancer saying "skipping chemo today it makes me feel terrible, but still pro chemo!" or someone with diabetes posting a picture of a missing leg saying "this is why i avoid insulin...but you shouldn't". If you're not actively promoting recovery including your own, you're inherently promoting illness.
You can slather "pro recovery" and "trigger warning", but it doesn't keep you liable or block you from being responsible for engaging with others in suicide and torture.
With (tough) love,
Someone recovering
If you see yourself but not sure in that note I want to address a list of points that may show you're a "hidden pro ana":
- - You have said you're not in recovery, despite saying pro recovery
- - You engage in dieting and have posted about it even just once
- - You post, like, share, or engage in thinspo
- - You have mentioned "ed culture" or "ed communities" light-heartedly
- - You complain about having to hide behaviors
- - You have multiple trigger warnings, fully knowing no one uses those warnings
- - You have defended yourself by saying you're not pro ana
- - You've said you don't encourage eating disorders, even though you have called bones beautiful
- - You publicly track weight/calories/other
- - You would be in trouble if someone found your account
- - You've had to defend yourself and claim your account is just for venting
- - You don't think you have an illness
- - You are publicly defensive online about eating disorders
- - You'd be concerned if someone close to you had a similar account
- - You find your internet profile helps motivate you to lose weight/restrict/purge
Of course those are just a few of the telltale warning signs, however if any of those apply to you and you do not wish to be unintentionally glamorizing eating disorders, here's a list of things you can do.
- - First and foremost, delete it. Shut it down. You could just log off, but deleting it limits others finding it and temptation to return
- - Invest in a journal. The need to vent is natural and necessary to wellbeing. Having a journal will not let your potentially triggering behaviors and thoughts be accessible to others
- - Seek professional help. Here is a treatment locator: https://www.edreferral.com/treatment
- - If you cannot afford or find professional help, see my link to online help both free and paid: http://reoverybrain.blogspot.com/p/finding-help.html
- - Apologize to your followers or others hurt by your internet activity. Of course you can always apologize, but it won't mean anything until you undo your account and posts
- - If having an online support is important, try out a recovery oriented account. Here are my do's and don't's of recovery accounts: https://reoverybrain.blogspot.com/2017/11/my-dos-and-donts-of-internet-recovery.html
- - Forgive yourself. Being in these communities is really enticing and can become addicting even, especially when they're masqueraded as pro recovery. You are only human, give yourself a break.
- - When you find the urge to recreate an account, reach out to someone you trust to keep you accountable
- - Blocking and reporting "hidden pro ana" content can be really empowering
- - Let people know when you're concerned about their material. Don't be afraid to confront them, but be respectful.
- - If you truly don't want recovery, but you claim to be "pro recovery" stay the heck off the internet. That attitude is toxic and if you insist on continuing, stop calling yourself pro recovery to prevent luring in even more vulnerable people. You are pro ana if you insist on publishing suffering and relapse.
I could rant continuously, but in conclusion, I find "pro recovery" ana accounts to be even more harmful than straight up pro ana. The hypocrisy can be damaging to people in recovery. When you see pro recovery many assume it's a positive environment, but even just one click on "bonespo" or "abc diet tracker" can be enough set you and others back a step- even a leap.
Let's work together to keep the internet healthy and safe for everyone. No one deserves to suffer the temptation of internet eating disorders.
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